Mending His Past Page 10

  “Why not?” Trent asked. His stomach twisted into knots as he questioned whether or not he really wanted to know the answer. Did she still love Eddie? Was there a part of her that wanted to see him again?

  “I think I have to go pick him up.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want to do it.”

  Trent did a double take. “I’m sorry? I’m not following you. If you don’t want to do it—don’t do it.”

  “This is for my sake, not his.”

  She seemed to retreat into herself. A faraway look came to rest in her eyes as a quiet settled between them. So many questions—he had so many questions about Olivia’s life after they’d parted ways. If he were ever going to talk to her about what happened with Eddie, now was the time.

  “What happened between you two… if you don’t mind sharing?”

  She twirled her hair around her index finger, just as she always did when she was nervous or deep in thought. Her green eyes gazed into the distance. “I don’t know. Eddie’s career always came first. Molly wasn’t part of his plan. When my pregnancy took a turn for the worse and I had to quit my job to go on bed rest, he said the pressure was too much for him. He left for work one day and never came back.”

  The muscles along Trent’s jaw flexed as he ground his teeth.

  “That was really hard to take. It started changing me. Bitterness ate away at who I’d always been. I had to decide what kind of person I wanted to be—what kind of mother I wanted my baby to have. I chose to forgive him for myself… and for Molly.”

  The weight of Olivia’s words rested heavily on Trent’s chest. The world wasn’t good enough for this woman. It didn’t deserve her, and neither did he.

  A wry smile played on her lips. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m no saint. I have flashes where the old feelings start to crop up—times like now when I don’t feel like I’ve forgiven him. Right now, all I feel like doing is sticking it to him and making his day miserable.”

  “I like that plan,” Trent said, a wicked sense of delight rolling around inside him.

  “I can’t.” Olivia took a deep, bracing breath. “This is my first chance to really prove to myself that I’ve moved on. If I don’t prove it to myself now, it’ll probably never happen.”

  “It sounds like an awful lot of trouble to go through just to prove a point.”

  “Maybe, but it’s something I need to do for myself, you know? He’s the only person I’ve really struggled to forgive over the years.”

  “Are you sure he’s the only one?” Memories of their painful parting surfaced in Trent’s mind, and he couldn’t hold Olivia’s gaze. Surely, she hadn’t wiped his slate clean, too.

  “Yeah, a lot of big feelings try to crowd in on me where Eddie is concerned.”

  “And there’s no one else you’re upset with?”

  “What are you getting at, Trent?”

  “What I did…” A lump formed in his throat, making it difficult to get his words out. “I was…”

  What was going on? It shouldn’t be this hard to apologize. He’d only begged her for forgiveness a thousand times in his daydreams. Where was the eloquent speech he’d always recited in his imagination?

  “I’ll never forgive myself for the way I left you. All I can say is that I’m sorry, but I won’t ask for your forgiveness. I don’t deserve it any more than Eddie does.”

  “Trent, forgiveness isn’t something that’s earned, it’s something that’s given. I’ll admit, there were a few scratchy emotions that tried to surface that first day at the rescue. But I forgave you a long time ago.”

  “But—”

  She moved her hand to Trent’s chest and placed it over his heart. The electricity flowing from her fingertips caused his heart to race. “It’s time for you to do some forgiving of your own. Don’t you think?”

  “Yeah, I’m working on it. My dad was pretty cool today, wasn’t he?”

  “He was, but I wasn’t talking about him.”

  “Who then?” The intensity burning in Olivia’s eyes caused Trent’s temperature to rise.

  “You need to forgive yourself. If I’m not holding a grudge against you, why should you?”

  That was a good question. One that Trent had no answer to.

  Olivia ran her fingers through her hair and bit her bottom lip. “Now I just have to figure out how to keep Molly occupied all that time. Three hours there. Three hours back. That’s a lot of time spent strapped in a car seat.”

  “I know you want to do the right thing, but why can’t he just rent a car and drive himself down?”

  “He’s been laid off the last few months. You saw the text. He spent the last of his cash on his plane ticket. Who knows why? But that’s what he did.”

  The last of his cash? That opened a whole new world of questions in Trent’s mind. Where was he planning to stay? How was he planning to go home? Both were questions he desperately wanted answers to, but Olivia didn’t need any more drama for today. If she hadn’t thought of those issues yet, he wasn’t going to be the one to bring them up.

  Quiet settled over them as flea market shoppers continued to browse the table in front of them.

  “What about your dad? Can he watch Molly?” Trent asked.

  “No. He and Gloria are on an anniversary cruise. They go every year. But even if they were home, Gloria has never been big on babysitting, and Dad usually goes along with whatever she wants.”

  “How about Kat? I know she’d love to take her.”

  “I’m going to be gone pretty much all day long. It’s too much to ask. She’s done so much already for us lately.”

  Trent sighed. This particular mess was partially his fault—he had to help clean it up. “I’ll watch Molly for you.”

  “What? No. That’s sweet of you to offer, but it’s going to be more than six hours round-trip. Who knows how long it will take me to find parking and meet up with Eddie.” A shiver visibly wracked Olivia’s body at the mention of his name. Her cynical chuckle was matched only by the smirk that rested on her lips. “The thought of that man still gives me shivers, and I don’t mean the happy kind,” she said in a half-joking tone.

  Hearing that made Trent feel a bit better about this impromptu visit. It was good to know that Eddie still made her shiver with revulsion.

  “I know it’s going to be a long day, but that’s why she should stay with me. That trip would be boring for an adult. I can’t imagine how rough it would be for Molly.”

  Olivia eyed him with brows drawn together and a guarded smile on her lips that seemed to question his sanity.

  “You said I’m great with kids, right?” Trent asked. “She’ll have me and Sport to look after her. If I run into any trouble, Aunt Kat is only a text away.”

  “I guess it could work. You could watch her at our place so she’d have all of her toys to keep her busy…”

  “It will work.” Trent could hardly believe his ears. He was actually trying to convince Olivia to let him babysit. He didn’t know the first thing about babysitting. But if this was what Olivia needed, he’d make it happen.

  “I don’t know what to say, Trent.”

  “Say yes.”

  After a long moment, Olivia spoke. “All right. But only if you promise to reach out for help if you have any trouble at all.”

  “Will do.”

  It was all settled. Trent squelched the flicker of apprehension that tried to sour his stomach. How hard could it be to watch a tiny human? He’d been in command of a ten-man squad during his last tour in the Middle-East, and had seen to it that each and every one of them performed their duty to an exemplary standard. Surely he could handle a single butterfly-winged two-and-a-half-year-old.

  Olivia puffed her cheeks and released a slow breath. “I think this calls for some preemptive ice cream. What do you say?”

  “I’ve never turned down ice cream in my life,” Trent said.

  “Great. We can hit Main Street when we’re done here. MacDowells sti
ll has the best ice cream around. It’ll be just like old times.”

  Olivia’s warm smile set fireworks off inside him. Which old times was she talking about? The old times when they were childhood friends, or the other old times—back when they knew they were meant to be together?

  Chapter Fourteen

  A quiet stroll down Main Street was just what Olivia needed after a long day sitting in the sun at the flea market. Trent and Molly walked on either side of her, the three of them clutching waffle cones piled high with hand-churned ice cream.

  Sport kept a watchful eye on Molly’s sweet treat, licking his chops every so often. To any casual passerby, they would have looked like the perfect middle-class American family out for an after-dinner walk. What Kat wouldn’t give to see this. Olivia found herself smiling more than she had in a long time, and it wasn’t because of her double-dipped butter pecan ice cream.

  “Now that that dog has started eating again, I don’t know how to get him to slow down.” Trent reached down and patted Sport.

  “I guess that’s a good problem to have,” Olivia said. “Watch your ice cream, Molly. Don’t let it get too close to Sport’s nose. He’ll think you’re giving it to him.”

  Molly held her cone dangerously close to the dog’s snout. “I can share.”

  Trent guided her little hand away from the dog and moved Sport to his other side, giving Molly a bit more space. “Maybe you’d better wait to share until you’re all done eating what you want. You can save the last bite for Sport. Little girls shouldn’t eat food dogs have licked.”

  Olivia’s brows raised with surprised approval. Wow, he really is good with kids!

  Trent glanced over and caught her staring. “What?”

  “Nothing. I’m just impressed.”

  A deep shade of red crept up Trent’s neck. “I didn’t want her to eat after the dog, that’s all.”

  “Do you know how many single guys would have thought about that?”

  Trent shrugged.

  “Not many,” she said. “You two are going to be just fine tomorrow. I don’t know why I ever hesitated. You’re already looking out for her.”

  “I don’t claim to be any great expert, but you’re right. Molly will be well cared for tomorrow. I won’t let anything happen to her. I’ve led my fair share of escort details and I’ve never lost a charge yet.”

  Olivia stifled a smile at Trent’s sudden transformation into Sergeant Roland, officer in charge of the toddler brigade. “Just try to remember that you’re not on guard duty tomorrow. Think of it more like a play-date.”

  Trent’s expression grew serious. “Of course. What are the expectations for a play-date? Fill me in on all the details and I’ll make it happen.”

  Olivia’s amusement melted away, leaving her with tender feelings of gratitude toward Trent. “You’re taking this very seriously, aren’t you?”

  “Absolutely. The daughter of Olivia Malone deserves only the best. Now, what do I need to know about play-dates?”

  “Well, when it comes to play-dates, most kids I know… play.”

  Trent licked his cone, capturing the melted ice cream beginning to run down the sides. His intense gaze was laser focused on Olivia as he waited for her to continue with her briefing. “And?”

  “That’s it. Play-dates are about playtime. Sometimes there are snacks involved, but that’s big league stuff—you know, graham crackers and juice boxes? That sort of thing.” Olivia couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled up from deep within her belly. Trent was too cute.

  He nodded, crunching a bite of his waffle cone. “I can handle chow time. No problem.”

  “I’m sure you can. Just relax and have fun with it.”

  A sudden pang of sadness blindsided her just as a migraine jabbed its hot poker-like fingertips behind her eyes and clamped down. The fact that her ex-boyfriend showed more interest in caring for her daughter than her ex-husband was a tough pill to swallow.

  She squeezed her eyes shut, dreading the job ahead of her the next day. The last time she’d seen Eddie, she was sitting on the couch propped up on pillows and waving goodbye to him with a gullible smile on her face. He’d spent the better part of the morning packing his bag for his “overnight business trip”. She scoffed inwardly. No wonder it looked so over-stuffed when he rolled it out the door. He’d packed up everything he valued and never came back. There was nothing quite like being served divorce papers while stuck in bed, awaiting the arrival of her first child.

  Pressing her fingers to her temple, she tried to ease the ache in her head as the knot in her stomach tightened. She had forgiven Eddie, right?

  “Hey, you okay?” Trent asked.

  “Yeah, just thinking.” She tried to put a brave smile on. But her reflection in a storefront window showed her an expression more akin to a grimace than a smile.

  “What about?”

  “Lots of things.”

  “Do these things have anything to do with a certain person who’s flying in tomorrow?”

  He was at it again. Reading her mind definitely topped Trent’s list of superpowers.

  She ran her hand over Molly’s silky hair as the little girl worked on her cone, oblivious to the powerful emotions welling up in Olivia. Her daughter’s unbridled joy had always been a source of comfort, and tonight was no different. “Yeah. Just so many mixed emotions to deal with, you know?”

  Trent stopped walking. Olivia took a couple more steps before stopping and turning to face him. He expanded his chest, filling his lungs with air. Her own breath caught in her throat when he captured her gaze with his soulful brown eyes.

  “I won’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but I have to say…” He moved in so close Olivia could feel the heat radiating from his body when he took her upper arm in his big hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Be careful, Olivia.” He whispered the words as his eyes pleaded with hers.

  She blinked several times as she tried to find the right words to say. Somehow all she could think of was how nice it was to be this close to Trent again.

  “I know I have no right to interfere, but I don’t like anything about this,” he said.

  “What do you mean?”

  A merciless wave of disappointment crashed over Olivia when Trent released her arm and backed away. Though he was still within reach, he was nowhere near as close as she wanted him to be.

  “I saw a lot of action during my deployments. Not once did we ever make a move without a plan based on solid intel.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Eddie didn’t tell you why he’s coming, or what he’s planning. You have no idea what his motives are. Promise me you’ll be careful.”

  If reading her mind was Trent’s top superpower, making her feel safe was such a close second it was practically a tie. He still cared for her and that made her heart soar. All of the what-ifs she’d ever entertained about the two of them over the last ten years bombarded her mind without warning.

  “If you’re concerned about him breaking my heart, you don’t have to worry about that. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you have to let them back into your life again. I’ve got my guard up.”

  “That’s good.” Trent nodded, the spark in his eyes dimming as he walked down the street with his eyes focused straight ahead. She couldn’t read the expression on his face when he turned his attention back to his melting ice cream, but something had shifted between them. It was as if an invisible door made of six-inch steel had just slammed shut, locking her out in the cold.

  She wrapped her arms around herself as a creeping, sick feeling came to rest in the pit of her stomach. Had she read him wrong before? It wouldn’t have been the first time she’d done it.

  Get real, Olivia. He’s just not that into you.

  Of course he wasn’t. He’d already made his plans a long time ago, and there wasn’t any reason for him to change them now. So what if he’d touched her arm? People touched each other all the time—it didn�
��t mean anything. Hot tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

  She hadn’t followed through with her decision to keep her heart locked away. She’d allowed herself to get swept up in a special moment that only existed in her mind. Now she was paying the price.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Olivia’s last words echoed in Trent’s mind, each reverberation louder than the one before it. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you have to let them back into your life. Message received loud and clear. He had his marching orders, and orders were not to be questioned. Besides, what had he ever done to deserve a second chance?

  Olivia was a smart woman. Part of him was proud of her for being strong enough to protect her heart after others, himself included, had trampled on it so completely. The other part of him grieved the loss of something he’d only just begun to hope could become a reality.

  He glanced down at Sport and swallowed the lump trying to form in his throat. Going out for ice cream with Olivia and Molly was supposed to have been fun—not like this. The cold, creamy concoction in his cone lost all of its sweetness. No wonder he’d buried his emotions for so long—going through life allowing yourself to feel was brutal.

  That one sentence Olivia had spoken a few minutes before sent him back to square one: finish the job and get out of town. Getting lost in his work was exactly what he needed, but he couldn’t do that until the Wounded Warrior Rescue was all patched up. The storm-damaged buildings around them reminded him of the magnitude of the job ahead of him.

  His stomach churned with raw emotion as they continued walking down the road toward the gulf until the pavement ended. A few cement pillars stood guard, stretching across the end of the street with thick nautical chain draped between them. Their presence eliminated any possibility of a vehicle making its way onto the beach. Molly climbed on one of them, her light weight unable to even cause it to sway.